Sam Squared

      It's a much too early Saturday morning that followed a Friday that left me exhausted. I fell asleep on the couch after dealing with lots of texting family pings, and my daughter playing a video game. My world is both spinning faster than my brain can absorb, and I personally have a need to figure out order. It's easy to say  just step away and let others figure out the outcome of their decisions, but much more difficult to implement. Waves roll into my life, crashing any semblance of the neat sand castles I'm trying to build.      It was an all day thing yesterday work and personal invading what was supposed to be my day off. Fat chance in the next five months to really have a day off, plus work has to be picked up this weekend to prepare for a 9:00 meeting. I rarely turn off notifications and put phone on DND, a throw back from missing calls and texts the night my husband died, but I had to at the clinic as I needed to concentrate.    ...

           Lots of blogging lately for myself as it gives me a place to put thoughts and pretend I have order in my life. It's dull for you all I'm sure, but you're welcome to join in. First, not quite thrift, but I've come to terms with my new cash flow budget. I knew internally that I'd have a big tax bite either at the time due or through the year. The shock of the paycheck drop was rattling, but now I know the deal. I can plan when I know, right?        Thrift and Such may or may not be a weekly thing. I'm looking for some norming and blogging had been that for me in the past. I really like how Hawaii Plan does her Frugal Fridays in categories. If you don't mind, I'm borrowing her format. This is for the period of Thursday, March 21 to Wednesday, March 27, 2024. Saving on Things We Buy Found an online coupon to use tonight when I meet my husband's aunt. She'll like the savings too!  I really thought I'd need to replace the key...

      Before my husband passed away, I was trying to make more effort saying yes to things I might have passed on for anxiousness, ambivalence, or laziness. Gatherings with large groups that I only knew a few people, impromptu concerts in the community, meet-ups with people that I've lost regular touch with, new experiences, or places to visit were all going to  be added. Then my world collapsed and I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't need any more new experiences, life was hellishly filled with new things that I've never had to do and people inserted into my life out of necessity; neither experiences or people wanted or asked for.      As the six month mark passed, his birthday, our anniversary, the holidays approaching, I was hitting lower points of prolonged grief. I sought therapy again. She helped me compartmentalize my feelings, and help make sense of what felt like contradiction. The biggest take away was that I get to, no need to, decide...

      We're supposed to get the really first big winter storm of the year. By midday they say the snow and blowing starts, will be all night, turning to rain Monday, then back to snow overnight into Tuesday. If that's all correct, what a mess. I'm heading to church then will stop for a few things that we'll likely run out of by Tuesday night for my daughters soft diet, and my preferences.      Once home, we are in for the day other than get pup a walk. I have a list of sorts to get accomplished. Clean and purge the "office" cupboard in the kitchen. My daughter went for a scissors and crash! Too much miscellaneous junk with unstable stacking must be remedied.  Bake homemade bread Make another batch of soup for daughter Go through at least two boxes of my daughter's clothes while she's here. Miscellaneous laundry. A bit of life admin like cross check checking, get end of month bills in order to pay      I'll check to see what NCAA hoops ga...

       I think we're around the corner with kitten and kid healing. We've got at least another week of low activity for kitten and soft no chew food for the girl. My daughter would like nothing more than to bite into a big juicy burger, but the best I can do is some really soft scrambled eggs and mashed sweet potatoes. She's been eating big bowls of creamy oatmeal to start her day, and drinking smoothies with Greek yogurt, fruit, and protein powder, at least getting nourishment and calories. She's already a tiny thing. She and my other daughter are going to Dune later. I'm going to tackle putting the house to rights. Kitty will need to hang out in the pop-up kennel when I can't be right with him. One med is done as of 3:00, so I get to be a slightly less bad guy. Both she and the kitten have left a wake of chaos.      I hope I didn't come off as whiny and pathetic with my financial woe is me post. I know what I'm reducing in cash flow each month is all...

      Here's the whole story. I shared my daughter was having oral surgery Monday afternoon so we decided it made sense for her to stay with me as I'd be her driver, plus give her some TLC after for a couple days. She came with kitty Sunday night but mentioned he'd thrown up and wasn't eating like normal. Otherwise, he was playful and the same. Monday afternoon, almost night, when we got back, she was very worried. My older daughter had come later for the pet care and also had no luck getting him to eat or potty. I took him to the 24 hour vet, 25 minutes away.       Poor kitty- it was hours before he could be thoroughly examined, but did check vitals and were in normal ranges. They suggested I go home and they'd call. Two hours later, the vet called. While his vitals were good, he still wasn't urinating and an X-ray revealed something foreign in his tummy. They gave him IVs and with approval, walked me through the needed surgery to remove the obstructi...

      Edit: It's all going to be ok. I used this space to get my frustration out, and now with time, have a clearer head. I've also gotten perspective back that there's more important things than money, and money is only a tool to help those more important things. We're going through a sudden medical crisis with my youngest's kitten. He's her emotional support animal and I'll do what is possible to help him, her, and us. I appreciate the kind words, the listen up words, and snippets of advice. I'll take it all in once we are on the other side of this situation.       Remember when I said the awful tax meeting resulted in a multiple thousand dollar swing to the negative? I made adjustments to my W2 to counter and thought I'd have to figure out how to reduce my monthly cash flow by $350. The jokes just keep hitting. I got the new pay day calculation, though pay day is not until Friday. I wish it was -$350. Actually, take home pay will decrease by $686 ...

      I think I've written 2 or 3 posts but not hitting publish. They're full of boring nothingness or too personal, words just to get thoughts out. Using Blogger seems to work better for me as a journaling tool I guess than just a word doc or paper. I like paper notebooks, journal type pads for lists, reminders, and planning, but to sit and hand write my day to day thoughts, just doesn't seem to go anywhere.       There's not much to really share with you all. My day to day is pretty much the same. I've no news to share on anyone in my family, except for the two retirements by sisters. One is looking at getting a very part time job to get her out of the house. The other agreed to some training for the new owners admin team, three people now doing the job she did alone. Then, she said she's not going to think about doing anything job related until fall and might do something part time. I'm so happy for them both, though both are going to have quite a t...

      I decided I really like my home and being there more than the great beyond. I like a vacation as much as the next person and getting out for dinner or a night with friends on occasion. I'm not turning into a shut in, and I like people visiting me as I get lonely with too much time by myself. I really appreciate though my home once I'm back when I've gone somewhere, vacation, out for dinner, or just the office for the day. It's nothing fancy, a modified late 1980's multi-level. Everything about the house was built with a purpose not design, at least for the time. I'm not sure if separate dining rooms are in or out of design style currently, but I like having both an eat in kitchen and a dining room. I could see a different family using the dining room more as a small family room since it leads to the back yard. Maybe they'd knock down the non load bearing wall between and having a much larger kitchen and island type set up. They'd lose the pantry, b...

            I decided that whatever cash I had left from my vacation was going to be rationed out as my entertainment budget for March and April. A few things to use it for include retirement dinner for sister M (last Friday), hosting family for a cards night (minimal as mostly snacks, wine I already have and BYOB) for sister C's birthday, a show choir competition(past Saturday), 50+ church group outing, and a few trivia nights. I haven't played trivia since the last Wednesday in December due to repeat January illness and February conflicts.       I'll hopefully meet friends again for outdoor walks ( which may include a stop for an adult beverage or coffee depending on time of day) which are high value entertainment with little to no cost. One curve ball in this plan is tickets to the Chanhassen Dinner theater for the Carol King musical Beautiful , but that's my big outing for spring and it's not coming out of this planned leftover vacation c...

         Longtime  blog friends might remember I blogged much more often before. I thought with this new space, I'd aim for twice a week. Some weeks it strikes me to whack away on the keyboard spouting nothingness more often. Often in sleepless nights or when I wake too early. This is one of those times. I've got a post noodling around about tightening my spending in March and April on the heals of vacation. Tightening means using up, even if my meals get repetitive and odd, the freezer and pantry stocks.       I did a silly Sam's Club shop a week or so before leaving, had a crammed freezer, and ample shelf staples. Nothing orderly though for meal planning, but lots of food for a household of one human. I made a list of what all could be in the meal plan the coming weeks without heading into a store. Most will give me a second dinner and lunches, and I can freeze in portions for easy freezer assets or to send with my daughter's.  Baked m...

      I had a wonderful treat on February 29 I haven't shared. Many of you know Anne from Cooking and all that Jazz , and of her musically talented son and daughter-in-law. Anne arranged for me to be a guest of her daughter-in-laws performance at Leap Year House Party Concert in St Paul. Oh my goodness is Helena Hallberg wonderful. I don't even know how to do justice to the evening. The concert was kicked off by Sara Morris, who I think is a St Paul friend artist. Both had beautiful folk music tones, though modern, with songs that had touching lyrics and musical notes that take you elsewhere. Particularly, Helena's lighthouse song as lighthouses have significance in my family with my husband.       My younger daughter joined me. We had a moment to introduce ourselves to Helena, and were greeted like old friends with a hug. After the performances, the musicians were in high demand so we made a quiet exit, but not before snapping QR code for her s...