Frugal Tactics
What exactly frugal means and how it applies to life is as individual to a person as the hairs on their head. This includes, not being frugal at all. My definition is using money to a, ensure needs are taken care of, b, having adequate savings to weather a storm, and c, direct a portion to things that bring me and others added comfort and maybe even some joy. I've had a few Keeping up with the Jones's periods in my life, but frankly now I just don't care. Maybe it's age or maybe it's truly getting kicked in life to understand how little material things mean. Realizing time is short, I want to spend on experiences I choose.
Still I feel like I need a few tactics to both not come off cheap or anti-social, but also not feel forced to spend where I don't want to. I've done a duck and weave tactic by avoiding the spend, like the gazillion fundraisers young family members have. I'll support one each a year per kid, but have been direct and say I'd rather not do the sales based fundraisers. I don't want $25 butter braids and Tastefully Simple bread and dip mixes. I'd rather do a sponsorship like for a run or "something athon", or for a service where the youth earn the donation, or just a direct donation to their account.
As for spending on meals out, sometimes I decline and present a more frugal alternative. "Lunch out doesn't work this week, but do you have any time for a coffee or to go for a walk?" Showing up for people you love doesn't have to cost much at all. Cheering a friend up by drooping off homemade bread is both frugal and personal.
Sometimes it's been useful to couch in a situational decline. "Oh, that play sounds really good, but a bit spendy for me right now. Keep me in mind in the future." It's honest, but doesn't close the door on invites. Being a widow gives me an easy response to turning down participating in something that doesn't fit my spending priorities at a given time. "Sorry, sounds fun, but I'm still balancing this one income thing." I mean, who's going to push back at that one without sounding like a real jerk?
Frugal Queen had a nice conversation video recently about how to cope when you're frugal but your friends aren't. Sometimes I think she can get a little preachy about always declining social engagements that cost money, but this one was really both kind, but authentic, a bit more real world. I really like that she had some positive responses to different spending priorities like her take on friends vacations. Here's that video.
I came from a lower income class. I think never having splurging money has helped me in rough times. I'd be ok if I had to pitch a tent in the woods and had to eat along with the chipmunks and squirrels. For a long time because I had nothing growing up I was beginning to become a clutterer, buying stuff I absolutely didn't need. After the 2009 debacle I lost all my treasures. I realized it's stuff, just stuff. I still like stuff, but mentally I have always been prepared for the worst
ReplyDeleteI think I accidentally push the publish on my comment before backing out of the page lol.
ReplyDeleteIn this case, I'm lucky that I'm not that social.
I would hope to think, though, that your friends and family would realise that things are a little tighter money wise now. Besides, taking a walk or having just coffee or dessert instead sound fun. With summer approaching, maybe you could look out for some free events coming up that people might like to go to instead of those costing money.
I initiate a lot of my social get togethers, generally an AM walk followed by coffee. Another option is to look for nice upscale fast casual spots (breweries are great for this) where each can order as simply as they wish, and pay separately. Happy hours are another option - dine for $20 or less at all of these venues.
ReplyDeleteWe eat out with friends quite a bit, most of whom are far larger eaters and/or drinkers than we are, and these options above allow us to enjoy socializing while determining for ourselves how much to spend without any pressure.