Sunday Morning Mind Set
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| Nothing to do with the post, but sweetness overload. |
Not a mopey post, but a coping post. My mind is full pretty much 24-7. Part is filled with worry; finances, my kids happiness and futures, my health and access to health care, the awful direction this country is heading towards. Part is filled with plans, wishes and hopes; travel, home improvements, getting a garden started, creating a backyard oasis. The last part is just day to day life admin and figuring out making the best choices for myself and being a good support to family and friends.
Part of the life admin intersects with both worry and wishes. I pay bills on time to avoid late fees. I look for better prices on services and look for ways to reduce energy and other consumption, lowering utility bills. I'm dreading what my bills will be in March with this cold snap that's becoming more than a snap. But, it motivates me to make sure I'm setting the heat lower than I'd prefer and put on an extra sweater and slippers, double duty use of the oven, making sure lights are off, those sort of things.
I try and stretch a tank of gas, combining errands as much as possible, and leverage trips out of town when I must go farther. I try to treat leaving my house as an intentional outing rather than just hop in the car when the whim strikes. I've got a household and grocery budget, but this month I'm challenging myself to decrease by 20%.( I think 15% probably more realistic at this point). I'm going to in March as well. I'm trying to see the decrease as forced creativity for meals, snacks, and baking.
I do little mind games to help me worry less that I'll have enough to live off in retirement. I'm trying to justify everything I do, either as eleviating worry or fulfilling wishes. Treating my kids to an occasional meal out or helping with pet costs, or bringing meals to older family members without impacting my own quality of life is satisfying. Seeing that there's usually more money than month and I'm putting money in my sinking fund account (and funds are there when the big bill comes due) reminds me I can modestly travel and keep investing, even if just a little bit here and there, into my home.
I got through Valentine's Day, not that it ever was a big celebration, but still a lonely reminder. I watched the new Bridgette Jones movie, thinking it'd be just stupid and silly farce and was caught off guard emotionally.
Yesterday I kept busy. I had shoveling first to do. I popped into a Home Goods and Target for ideas for furniture and fixture upgrades, but didn't buy anything.I picked up the gift for the neighbors baby from Kohl's, looking forward to meeting her later this week. Silly me, though , I was three days early for when Kohl's cash could be used, but had a $5 credit applied to two soft sweaters that will be future gifts. I suppose I could have just put the purchase back but the sweaters were a staple type style and very good price. I got a few groceries and met two sisters for a Happy Hour/ early dinner. Today I'm taking my MIL to a play that includes dessert. We may get dinner after. I'm now at the seven week mark to retirement. Then playing little mind games will likely ramp up.
Our electric bill was up around $50 after a cold snap in January, but like you, normally, I keep the heat low and bundle up. And I turn off lights we are not using, and combine errands as needed to save on gas. Every little bit helps.
ReplyDeleteIt's winter and cold so that's what warm clothes are for.
DeleteI read this twice and thought of you, dear Sam, with the "coping not moping" comment. Like you and like Belinda commented above, we are watching the nickels and dimes (I guess we can't watch pennies anymore) and being more careful and deliberate about what we spend, consume, whatever. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteNow, I guess of all the things he's doing, elimination of penny circulation isn't horrific, if the default rounding doesn't automatically penalize consumers.
DeleteAs a younger retired (age 58), I encourage you to spend the bare minimum the first 6 months you are retired so you get an authentic feel for your baseline costs. Sharing resources is a wonderful gift and you can resume that after your initial 6 months. Doing this will give you some peace in knowing that your decisions, investments and goals are sound. You deserve the peace of knowing this. And since you're retiring in Spring, you'll have the loveliest 6 months of the year to do all the low cost and free stuff: walking, hiking, gardening/food preserving. All of this is far more enjoyable after retirement than poking it into moments of exhaustion while working.
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday to you Sam :-)
That's the hope, but bare minimum with a few treats. Otherwise, I might as well keep working. No, I do understand your points and taking your experience in.
DeleteI am starting an exercise every morning of what I can control. I can control what I eat, my activity level, my household projects. I can control where I go during the day. I can control my thoughts or my reactions.
ReplyDeleteI am still paying attention to the news, but I can't get bogged down in it. I am still doing the reaching out to my politicians but quite frankly do not love their answers. I will keep reaching out but start ignoring thier responses to a degree. I will control my responses to loved ones. Some people will never change and I will let them go with a warm thought. It is up to me to take are of me.
I get so sucked in and angry, and then stupid comments from those that only read or listen to propaganda drive me mad. But, I can control the amount I take in. i.need to for .y mental health.
DeleteCute picture of the dog and cat!
ReplyDeleteAlleviating worry is a biggie. You cannot overdose on that.
You said you had trees with roots out of the ground. I put plants in pots and sat them on rocks around the roots. It brightened up the area under the trees. I forgot the plants I put under the trees.
Getting future gifts is a great thing to do for savings. Were these baby sweaters?
Sweaters for grown ups.
DeleteWhat a gorgeous photo! xxx
ReplyDeleteThey really are sweet. Work, but sweet.
DeleteCoping not moping is a good way of looking at things. You seem very well organised and thoughtful about your financial needs, Sam, more so than you think. Combining errands into one car trip to save fuel and time is such a good thing to do, we try to do that as well.
ReplyDeleteI know your gas is even more than here.i can't imagine a full tank cost. I'm aiming for noore than two tanks a month until summer.
DeleteYou do seem to be doing really well coping, and there's a lot going on. I like Elle's idea of spending the bare minimum for the first six months (or so). It might help reduce worry. I should try it, at least for a little while. Your photo of the furry pair is adorable. Pets do ground us.
ReplyDeleteIt'll be tight cash flow for a while so the gentle spending makes completel sense.
DeleteI think it's lovely that you'll be going into retirement in spring. When the days start to get warmer and lighter it will really lift your spirits. Only seven more weeks to go!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think so too. I could have waited until the new fiscal year, but then I'd be in the most stressful months of May and June. No thank you
DeleteI admit I have done a lot of moping, not coping very well, and lots of crying binges, just being distraught after the house fire in October. I also have a very rude, nasty,, and lazy coworker not doing her work which means I have to do even more, in my office, which makes things so much worse at work.There will always be work issues as long as I work though, So I think your retirement sounds splendid and I wish you much happiness, and release of at least the work stress. I think the loss of a spouse , especially when unexpected like you and Kim experienced, is just dreadful so please be kind to yourself. You are putting one foot forward and doing your best. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Cindy. It has to be devastating to lose your home and all that went with it. Your coworker sounds like a nasty piece of work.
DeleteI think it's good to write down everything on your mind. Definitely right, coping, not moping. I am absolutely dreading my energy bill. It's not as cold here as in Minnesota, but it's been a generally colder winter this year than the last couple. I've had enough of it too.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing really well with the balancing. I'm not doing so well at it. I seem to take two steps forward and one back!
Coping, not moping - love it. One day at a time :)
ReplyDeleteWe cut the budget by 50%... not sure if we can hold it that low but we are going to try. I shook 3 days. No extra payments on mortgage, combine trips, eating more soup then either of us like. Since I have the flu Hubby has been doing eggs (free from neighbor for helping his Dad) and sandwiches. I bought heirloom/open pollenated seeds where I could get $$ off. Bought enough to go at least 3 yrs sharing with one daughter. Spent both Valentine's day and anniversary in ER with flu and bad drop in potassium. Was glad I had covered us with Medigap also.
ReplyDeleteHey Sam,
ReplyDeleteI am waking up each morning with a huge pit in my stomach over the direction this country is taking especially the latest planned EO. My sole solace: EI’s aren’t law.
In any case, my DH is in this hospital again…kid called 911 because he came downstairs Sunday afternoon to ask DH a question and DH responded in “word salad” and BP was stupidly high. Ct scan, ekg, echocardiogram, all ruled out stroke. He had a slight infection from a wound due to a dermatology procedure he had Thursday.He is staying in hospital one more night to have a test done tomorrow to rule out seizure. On the upside, today’s visit with him saw him looking and sounding great!
On another note: Thursday was below 32 degrees here as it had been for about a week. It was also snowing. A kid ran an errand for me. When he came home, he called us to the garage urgently. The urgency? He had come across a small, ancient, matted, wheezing, neglected and confused dog. Poor thing was a mess. Few teeth, and covered in urine. Nails were so long they curled under the paw. Even if I could find owner, I wouldn’t have returned the dog! And, my nearest neighbor agreed with that when I asked if she knew whose dog it was. So, kid and I took him in the house, bathed , combed and fed him. (Kid turned right around and went back to town for supplies.)Today he had his grooming appointment ( I have only ever had huge, short haired dogs, and was afraid to cut this guy’s nails.) As it turns out, he is a she! I don’t think she has a lot of time left, but the time she does has will be spent here, inside, as comfortable as we can make her.
But the real story is that when I dropped her off at the groomer at 8:30, I introduced myself, and proceeded to explain that he (as I thought) had just come into my care, because I didn’t want them thinking I was responsible for the neglected state. Well, as I stated telling the tale, my emotions got the better of me, and I was a blubbering mess! I think it was a culmination of this cruelty on top of recent events, including DH’s hospitalization. They handed me tissues, and assured me he was in good hands. When I got the call to pick up the pup, they said “here’s the thing, he is a she!” I misgendered the poor baby!!! When I returned to get her I had showered, dressed, put on contacts, put on makeup and did my hair down, and put on fairly decent clothes. I must have looked very rough when I walked in to drop her off, because they didn’t recognize me when I returned. Ah well, some moments are better than others!
-Meg B.