Developing New Mindsets
Please first let me share my sympathies for our dear blog friend Spo at the loss of his father. He recently spent time with his dad, and like usual, Spo has honored his father through his post.
Friday I almost logged into work. I had an external request for an end of year report and it needed approval before releasing. I didn't have that approval as of 5:30 Thursday. I got pegged again wondering when it's coming, and getting impatient. That person was notified I can't release yet, and will check in once I can- next week. I get they think it's urgent, but the other 20 things in review have importance too. I didn't create the rules that only give me one staff in research and analysis. I only have so many working hours as does those that have to approve the release. They have to wait. (Edit- I had a pop up in my teams chat on my phone late Friday that it's almost ready, so I will forward on first thing Monday, even though I'm technically off.)
I can't control grocery prices, but can decide what I buy, how I prepare meals, and serve low cost healthy meals with a bit more pizzaz. Bits of leftovers become a buffet of tapas when set out with nice plates and I open a bottle of inexpensive wine. Homemade soup made with homemade broth, beans, and cheap carrots gets served with discounted day old bread, toasted with homemade hummus. This same meal is served in a local restaurant menu at a $7.99 lunch special. My pot of soup and bread probably comes to half that and feeds at least 4.
I've looked into joining the Y, but the hours are limited, and the individual membership is very high. I'm working to put my mindset to be that each walk, with natural pulling tension (weight) from the big dog is a darn good free work out, as is throwing balls and frisbees in the back yard. I've determined that once my kids are back from their travel with extended family, I'll start showing up to the Walking Club, so the week starting Monday, January 27th, for the Monday night and Saturday morning meetup times. I can replace good shoes every month and buy a whole lot of tennis balls for less than the monthly Y fee. Snow shoveling becomes snow play if I don't have to go anywhere, taking the time to enjoy the fresh air. ( Though I still detest these thick heavy chunks the plow leaves at the end of my driveway.)
Other changes(trying) in mindset
- Framing television watching as a scheduled activity as opposed to mindless surfing. Look intentionally ahead to see if it's worth my time. Use non-screen time for more purposeful pursuits.
- Building a trip to the library as an intentional outing, building in reading time for magazines I enjoy, but will not pay for a subscription
- Menu plan to include either having my widowed sister's over at least a couple nights a month or for dropping off for friends or family that might need a bit of TLC. Caring for and about others is a good way to get out of my negative self absorption.
- Taking advantage of the extra 5 weeks of work to tighten up the documentation I'm leaving behind, building positive goodwill with colleagues I hope to keep in touch
My internal list of negativity and woe is still long. Despite using this blog to vent and dump my emotions, I'm not really a negative person, just sad and mentally fragile. I know in my head for every item on the woe list, there's at least one gift to balance. Hopefully reframing into some sort of new perspective will help build my resiliency and in time, my heart will feel more like my head.
You put a lot of thought into the things you plan to do, and how and when. If they don't all work out, well you've tried and can try again, it's not the end. I think you're marvellous.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I meant to say it's Sooze
DeleteLife has not been going as I wanted, but who's promised anything?
DeletePlease be kind to yourself. Grief is hard to navigate and you are handling it as well as you can. Lynn Pecos, NM
ReplyDeleteAccording to some people, I should just get on with it, though of course that's what I'm doing. Every day.
DeleteThinking of you, dear Sam, and echoing what Sooze said above: you plan, you do what you can, and you can always try again (or chart a new course) on the ones that didn't work out like you planned.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I feel like I am trying to figure out life like I did at 18. Not the path I wanted for sure.
DeleteI used yard work for my exercise routine. Picking up pinecones involved bending from the waist and picking pinecones up to my left and right and then tossing them. No, not hard impact exercise but it worked. As, part of my exercise, I ran up the stairs and down. I would also spend an afternoon at the library reading magazines.
ReplyDeleteIt seems you are tweaking plans to help you to accomplish your goals, work and personal.
I get lots of movement but intentional exercise is needed for developing strength where needed.
DeleteI'm so sorry for your friend's loss.
ReplyDeleteYou never come across as negative despite the heartbreak you've suffered. xxx
He wrote so eloquently of his father. I was fortunate to have a dad I respected and lived as well, so his post brought back memories of my dad. I'm glad I don't sound as gloomy as Eyore, who I've been calling myself.
DeleteThere are no rules for grief. There is no timeline for grief. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't think so, but I've had people wave virtual timers under my nose. It makes me want to be kinder and gentler to others. I find some of ones being the most inconsiderate about my grief and sense of loneliness never really reached out to offer any support either after the initial courtesy, "so sorry for your loss."
DeleteIt's not easy though, and it does get tiring having to work around the things we can't control. I'm trying though.
ReplyDeleteSoup is definitely a money saver, and I try to serve it at least once each week. And you're right, we can't control the price of groceries, but we can control what we do in our own kitchens.
ReplyDeleteChange is the only constant thing in life. There is so much we cannot control, but as I got older I realized it was easier if I adjust to changes (even those I did not want) than to rail against them. It never changed anything anyway and wasted a lot of energy fighting a futile battle.
ReplyDeleteBe kind to yourself.
Love everything in this post and you are smart to be thinking carefully about what Retirement will look like for you. I retired 2 years and moved at the same time, probably spent to much money setting up my new place to make it comfortable in my old age. I could have done it more slowly.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise I am enjoying finding free and cheap activities and connections.
Can I add that living alone can be exhausting as you are pretty much solely responsible for every decision. Don't beat yourself up, I have come to terms with the fact that OK I made a couple of not so great choices, but I have accepted it and moved on. Retirement can be a wonderful time in life.
DeleteIt sounds like you're pulling together some really good plans. I like your take on meal planning and the food bill. I'm really trying to make sure I use up everything. Meal planning definitely helps make sure things all get used. We don't eat out much but do splurge on easy treat meals we make at home once in a while.
ReplyDelete