Developing New Mindsets

     

     Please first let me share my sympathies for our dear blog friend Spo at the loss of his father. He recently spent time with his dad, and like usual, Spo has honored his father through his post. 

     I've struggled in so many areas, but I am figuring out things too. Not overworking and saving money are two areas I am focusing on, particularly as both my retirement date was deferred, but is still on the horizon. Too many things are out of my control, so I'm trying to better develop the mindset to go with the flow in those circumstances, and prepare and master the areas I can control. 

     Friday I almost logged into work. I had an external request for an end of year report and it needed approval before releasing. I didn't have that approval as of 5:30 Thursday. I got pegged again wondering when it's coming, and getting impatient. That person was notified I can't release yet, and will check in once I can- next week. I get they think it's urgent, but the other 20 things in review have importance too. I didn't create the rules that only give me one staff in research and analysis. I only have so many working hours as does those that have to approve the release. They have to wait. (Edit- I had a pop up in my teams chat on my phone late Friday that it's almost ready, so I will forward on first thing Monday, even though I'm technically off.) 

     I can't control grocery prices, but can decide what I buy, how I prepare meals, and serve low cost healthy meals with a bit more pizzaz. Bits of leftovers become a buffet of tapas when set out with nice plates and I open a bottle of inexpensive wine. Homemade soup made with homemade broth, beans, and cheap carrots gets served with discounted day old bread, toasted with homemade hummus. This same meal is served in a local restaurant menu at a $7.99 lunch special. My pot of soup and bread probably comes to half that and feeds at least 4. 

      I've looked into joining the Y, but the hours are limited, and the individual membership is very high. I'm working to put my mindset to be that each walk, with natural pulling tension (weight) from the big dog is a darn good free work out, as is throwing balls and frisbees in the back yard. I've determined that once my kids are back from their travel with extended family, I'll start showing up to the Walking Club, so the week starting Monday, January 27th, for the Monday night and Saturday morning meetup times. I can replace good shoes every month and buy a whole lot of tennis balls for less than the monthly Y fee. Snow shoveling becomes snow play if I don't have to go anywhere, taking the time to enjoy the fresh air. ( Though I still detest these thick heavy chunks the plow leaves at the end of my driveway.)

Other changes(trying) in mindset

• Framing television watching as a scheduled activity as opposed to mindless surfing. Look intentionally ahead to see if it's worth my time. Use non-screen time for more purposeful pursuits.
• Building a trip to the library as an intentional outing, building in reading time for magazines I enjoy, but will not pay for a subscription
• Menu plan to include either having my widowed sister's over at least a couple nights a month or for dropping off for friends or family that might need a bit of TLC. Caring for and about others is a good way to get out of my negative self absorption. 
• Taking advantage of the extra 5 weeks of work to tighten up the documentation I'm leaving behind, building positive goodwill with colleagues I hope to keep in touch

      My internal list of negativity and woe is still long. Despite using this blog to vent and dump my emotions, I'm not really a negative person, just sad and mentally fragile. I know in my head for every item on the woe list, there's at least one gift to balance. Hopefully reframing into some sort of new perspective will help build my resiliency and in time, my heart will feel more like my head.