The Honest Christmas Letter

     

     I'm ambivalent about Christmas letters. Folks can include if they want, I'll read or skim depending quite frankly, if I have interest enough to read with any vigor. My MIL does one, but requires us to write the paragraph for our families. Mine is short and sweet. People might read it and wonder why there's so little about my husband's family and much more about siblings'. Her relatives and friends that I know, already know what's going on. Those I don't know, I  doubt care for more than a Readers Digest summary and I don't feel like sharing more anyway. 

     She crams it all on one page, so forgoes grammar and proper punctuation and uses abbreviations no one would know in her editing. If my SIL's took my approach, she'd have a nicer formatted letter, but not my call. Oh, and this year, she (hopefully) inadvertently left out my older daughter's minimalist update completely by not cutting and pasting right, so reads like we lost my daughter. 100+ cards went out with that letter that does not include my middle child. There's a self esteem boost for a woman already battling depression, anxiety, and grieving her dad. 

     I've done occasional prewritten, child age and location updates, on cards, not a full on letter. I tend to include a personal note to those I don't see often or at all. When I open cards, there's a full spectrum of quick updates and those that do  in depth debriefs of vacations, merits, and accolade every member of their family received in the previous year. We've all read at least one over the top bragging letter, where no one has a care and everyone is just so successful. That's not us in our best years, and believe me, we haven't been living our best years for the last two. Here's the honest version of a Christmas letter if I was to send.

Dear family and friends,

    Another Christmas having to spend without our husband and dad. It sucks and quite frankly, we're a bit jealous at everyone getting to be happy families with their traditions and norms. I'm sad pretty  often, and wish my in-laws would stop expecting us to celebrate the same way on Christmas Day. But, to keep people happy, once again I'm sucking it up. In other updates...

     I'm preparing to retire in a few months. I'm tired, stressed, and quite frankly have little interest in the jobs purpose and mission any more. I'm scared that financially it's a dumb time though. Scared, no terrified! To help, I got my substitute teaching license so if need be, I can jump back into the classroom to be disrespected and underpaid, but at least try to cushion my savings.

   Son moved back to our state after Covid and back to back strikes decimated his career opportunities. He's working incredibly hard to rebuild, having to start again with both professional and personal relationships, piecing together something, but unfulfilled. But, he proved we didn't raise jerk kids by adopting an abandoned kitten. Other people are real jerks.

     Daughter one met a lot of idiots in the dating scene, or didn't as it's 50-50 if they'll show up once plans are made. She got a new coworker last spring who is a lazy misogynistic pain in the ass that likes to dump the more tedious work on her and the other female, so he can do the creative stuff, but does the old "but you're so much better at that" to get away with it from their boss. Her dog though is full of unconditional love, never misses a dinner date, and showers her with affection.

     Daughter two is in a second year of working for poverty level wages to build her resume, because as she learned, employers want multiple years of experience plus degrees to even be interviewed for a low, but slightly higher, paying entry level job. Her cat is wonderful but his food costs are more than her grocery budget. He's worth it compared to even more therapy co-payments. 

      All four of us are still grieving, loaded with anxiety. We're each finding ways, hopefully positive, to deal with both. The girls picked up distance running. My son and older daughter do yoga. The youngest bikes a lot. We lean into friends and family who don't put expectations on us. We have the pets; we have each other. I guess that is cause to celebrate the Christmas season and hope 2025 has to be better.

Sam