Writing and Forgetting It

      I had a humdinger of a crabby post ready to go titled, On Not Suffering Fools. I decided it was enough to type out my frustrations on human stupidity, arrogance, selfishness, jealousy, and bigotry and then not hit publish. No one needs to read my spewing, but it sure helped me, to quote Taylor Swift, "shake it off." Well, I will say on that subject, the fools that hate on her, just because, probably cringed.  

          There's a reason journaling is used as part of therapy. Getting words down, coherently or incoherently, but without filters, can really free the head of noise to think more clearly later. Getting raw emotions out, then being able to forget the harsh, sad, or even mean words is a release. Do I always succeed? Nope. Sometimes I do type and publish in a post, a comment, an email, or a text or verbally say my thoughts without filter. I regret it sometimes, but not always. I really am at a point in life that I will not suffer fools, but that doesn't mean I like broadcasting my bad mood.

     My knee has been a right pain. I'd like to walk more than I do, but I find by a couple mile point, it's not just uncomfortable but throbbing. I have to be cautious what routes I take, not two miles out, but no more than two miles of a full walk. I'll take several in a day to get the needed exercise for me and for the dogs, and ice/ heat alternate in between. I get these in before I fully start my work day, an extended lunch, and now that it's staying lighter, after work. Walking is a non-paper, non- keyboard form of journaling as I compose verse and chapter in my head. I have conversations with the dogs. They haven't replied back, but are sure good audience to monologues. 

     I talk to my husband a lot on these walks too. Of course in the past, he'd try and offer solutions, fix things, or tell me what I should do when I was troubled. He often lacked context or offered impractical solutions, not fully grasping that I was just unloading, not asking for his help. I wasn't always thrilled with his approach; but damn, I miss it now. Learning how to navigate on my own is what I need him to help me with. 

     Today is Valentine's Day. Last year, my birth friends bought me flowers the day before and took me out for dinner. February 13 has been dubbed Galentine's Day in recent pop culture. I decided to buy myself some flowers this year and use the vase they gave me. It reminds me that I  have people that care about me. I'll only see them a few days before going on vacation, but my daughter will be here dog sitting and can enjoy while they look fresh. I love carnations in general, and these mini pink ones are adorable. 

     I need to run over to feed my sister's cats at some point. It's also ash Wednesday, so depending on the end to a late afternoon meeting, I am aiming for 4:30 church, then cats. If it doesn't work, I'll just do YouTube church as  my daughter and I are having dinner together so the 7:00 service doesn't work. I will throw the ingredients for dal, yet again, in the crock pot and we'll have it with basmati rice and steamed vegetables. 

     If you've read my meandering mind dump this far, thank you. I leave Saturday so not sure if I'll get a post up or not, or one next Wednesday. Would you have interest in a little ship cabin tour? I can link to many a YouTube video on whole ship tours of the one I'm sailing on, so won't subject you to more than a few photos. I hope your February 14th and whatever you participate in, or don't, is a good one.