Thrifty or Miserly? Liberated Or Irresponsible? The Big Questions

     

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     I bet I'm not alone as a retired person alternating between feeling scared and adventurous. Some days, I worry I didn't plan well enough. On others I feel like I worked hard my whole life, was dealt an unfair hand,  too soon have to navigate life alone, so I deserve to lead the good life now. This week is one of those back and forth mind weeks. On one hand, few of us know how long we'll need our money to last. The thought of being a financial burden, or even a care burden to my kids puts thoughts in the thrifty lane and potentially miser lane. I don't want to have to choose between eating healthy and medications. Spending now on anything but food, shelter, and health care sometimes feels irresponsible. 

     Reading about retirees that end their months and years thousands and thousands in the black, the goal always building up their bank accounts, while seeming very unhappy with the quality of their life steers me in the opposite direction. That puts me in the lane where I want to look for vacations, hired out home improvements, and indulge or invest now in my kids rather than after I'm dead. I'm sharing a thought I read on this that some people are so frugal they are waiting to spend money on a moment that will never come. I don't want that to be me either. It's a liberating feeling to not say no to oneself all the time.

     I know there's a healthy balance somewhere. A few fellow bloggers and AARP spotlights seem to have found a sweet spot. I think my MIL has balanced both their shared retirement and her widowhood on an even keel. Sure, circumstances are not identical, but some strategies used might be generalized. I'm trying to get understanding and adapt the summarized strategies used below by others for myself. (I take no credit or ownership of these concepts.) 

• Be comfortable with your rate of withdrawal on retirement plans. Just because experts might tout a "rule" doesn't mean it works for you. Be more conservative if it helps with comfort levels or if you know you have an upswing in finances in the future, you can be more liberal with withdrawals. Keep inflation in mind as withdrawal amounts today will likely not be enough in 10+ years ( or much longer longer). Remember that minimum withdrawals will happen too when you hit a certain age and you don't want a huge tax hit because you were too conservative.
• Remember in retirement you're intentionally spending money for this time in life, but also that you're not likely in a saving mode either, and resources ( time as well as money) should be considered finite. Here is the rub with wanting to both enjoy and care for family and friends and ensure it's not come at the expense of your comfort level now or in the future.
• Do "good" with some of your time and money. In healthy societies, people invest a bit of their surplus in helping others and there are studies that show philanthropy is good to our own well being. Feeling valued and connected as we age is incredibly important. 
• Put money in your priorities, not someone else's. Travel, gardening, art, season tickets and other sources might be a goal but none are a retirement requisite. 
• Choose to replace items on your own schedule not because the season dictates; invest in things that work, fit, flatter, or make life smoother, but not to just replace for change sakes. A benefit I'm finding to aging is that I really don't care if something is out of style, antiquated, or just old. If it serves my purpose it's good.
• Love the place you call home. When feeling a financial pinch, that fear of missing out is mitigated by being surrounded by and near things and places that make you happy. Decluttering so that you can enjoy the good things already owned is so important. Know what's going on in your community to both support and enjoy without having to spend much money.
• Still have "goal" spending, like a big trip with family, a different car, a new piece of furniture while not denying smaller, more affordable pleasures today. Break these goals into sinking fund set aside to use some day, and use other money for day to day living.
• Have alternative means to get to outcomes. Side hustles might yield more fun money for travel or entertainment without being taxing. Use rewards and cash back to help with the extras in your life. Hobbies and interests might become self sustaining, such as volunteering in exchange for memberships or to an event.
• Look at downsizing or relocating if home costs (maintenance, cleaning, taxes, insurance) are eating up more of your retirement income and time than you're comfortable with. Even if not ready to do so, research options like a smaller or less maintenance home, locations, home types, and resale value so if this is a route, you'll move forward with full understanding.

     This got longer than I intended but probably just scratched the surface. What are your thoughts, especially if you're retired and feel you've got a good grasp? If you're new to retirement like me or still making your plans, where do you land on the frugal/ miser or liberated/ irresponsible path?