An Update

      I last blogged on Monday. This was the day before my brother passed, peacefully at home, at 3:38 a.m., May 6th, 2025. My SIL and his daughter were by his side, with one of my sisters near on the same too small loveseat I had tried the night before to catch a few minutes of sleep. It was important that this sister was there as my brother had been the one to drive her five years ago to the hospital in St Paul after her husband's massive heart attack, he being transported by ambulance. He, like my husband, likely never made it to the hospital in time to be revived, if even possible. She was widowed at 59, just two years older than I was. 

     While circumstances are very different for my SIL than for myself, her pain and learning to live as an "I" and not as a "we" is still there. She has three children with children of their own, a total of nine grandchildren. They will keep her busy as well as her siblings, us as she chooses, and her huge extended friend group, some of whom also have lost their partners. At a healthy 76, she has a lot of living to do still. 

     I'm grateful for the medicine and the collective care we could provide to keep my brother as comfortable as possible. Seventeen days at home, 34 care shifts by family supporting my SIL, though she did the direct care-insisted on doing the direct care. I had six of those shifts, not even 20%, but being retired meant I could take four of them I otherwise wouldn't have been able to. 

     The visitation and funeral are next week. My SIL is a devout Catholic, a mixed marriage they had, but her religion is what they practiced. It's ironic that he was as involved and active as anyone in their church, but technically not Catholic because he never did the required steps to convert. He will still receive the full sacraments. He will also have military honors having served in the Army  for four years. He was active in the American Legion,  the Knights of Columbus, and a regular volunteer with our family service and Meals on Wheels. Until he no longer could, he donated blood on a regular cycle as Red Cross allows. His loss will be felt in the community. 

     I've tried to 100% focus on my family, or rather his family of which I'm a part. My faith is rocky at best, practically non-existent. I've not had even a glimmer of a God moment since losing my husband, no signs of him in the afterlife. I hope if there is, the people I love were waiting to bring him in and all are together in love and joy.