Trying to Figure Out My Days
I know it's only been a week but I'm sort of off kilter. I have a list a mile long but seem to have a lack of motivation to tackle as much as I need to. I suppose that's normal after having decades and decades at the schedule of a job. I know I was burned out too, easing into retirement didn't happen quite like I had hoped. Essentially training two people for very different jobs was exhausting while also doing both jobs. The chaos in Washington caused stress and daily unknowns in my work life; the chaos of Washington is causing stress and daily unknowns on my retirement financial plans.
What has been happening is a lot more outside time. I'm taking the dogs on more walks, and they are happy. I'm getting a bit of yard mess cleaned up. I don't yet trust that we are truly in spring so holding off a few things like getting the nice patio furniture out. I spend time each day collecting strewn rocks- there's always more. "They" say it's too early to rake, but my hands itch to get ahold of one. It's amazing how much litter flies into yards, so I've cleaned up that from bushes and shrubs. I've also had a good time with my lopper taming back where yet more errant trees seem to be starting to grow and clipping away at stray branches for the raspberry bushes. Maybe I'll get out with a camera and film the before and hold myself a little accountable.
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| I wish I was this far along! |
After getting free bricks, I'm working out the best way to use them as edging. This is sort of the idea. I'll have river rock, already there (the strewn ones mentioned above). I don't have nearly enough for the area off the patio but appreciate I'm not having to buy all I need. I had to reschedule pickup from Saturday to Tuesday afternoon, realizing after the first freebie, I needed to line up help. The first set were a different type of brick than those above too. I almost didn't take them, they're bigger, thinner, and not going to work for this edging. I realized they'd be perfect to carve out a side garden to plant squash and pumpkins, so took the 20 she had. Kim and Kay, I'm feeling the weight of each brick! They need power washing, but I think they'll help get the tidy look I want, keeping growth, run off, and hopefully weeds in a specified area. I'm just making this up as I go. Suze, if you are reading, your garden is gorgeous, and I hope my results are half as successful as yours.
I've said I want to invest my time with my family, my friends, and my home. As I worked from home 80% of my time before, I'm not necessarily spending more time at home, but with the days my own, I'm not tied to a computer screen so can break up the day with different focus. As I'm writing this on Tuesday night, the big dog is looking longingly out the window. I think it's time to get him out since no one is wanting my time other than him.
I would think one would need a certain amount of time after retiring to fully unwind. For your brain and body to realize that the old stressors are no longer there and not coming back. You’ll settle into a groove in no time, I’m sure. I am also itching to get outside, it was gorgeous Monday and freezing today. I’m hoping tonight will be the last frost, especially since I keep lugging the pot of pansies I bought on a whim in and out so it doesn’t die. Thank goodness for fences! JoAnn
ReplyDeleteThat could be it. Even the dog is wondering what's going on and why am I never in my office. Actually, that's the main inside project to get that purged but I haven't wanted to even open the door.
DeleteGive yourself time to settle. After working so much, the body and the mind need time to rest. I did very little the first few months. I needed the mental rest more than anything. Relax, read, watch TV, take pups for walks; in general, be slow.
ReplyDeleteMy mind certainly does. Slow has been the word. But, I guess I earned it. Daytime TV is awful as I found out on my medical leave. I would like to read more but lack the drive or real interest in picking up a book.
DeleteSam; the above are right! Give yourself time to decompress, my first three months were very slow and strange, but in such a good way. Just go with the flow, no stress, no guilt!
ReplyDeleteThree months, hah? I guess I have stress from not having stress, lol. I suppose a bit of guilt. But, no one has texted in a panic so there's that.
DeleteI went from a very busy job, sounds like yours (with multiple people replacing you) and I did not want to fill my retirement with a bunch of commitments, even pleasant ones. I wanted to give myself time to remember what life was like when I had free time. I am pretty happy with where it has taken me. My advice is don't try to "fill" the time. Remember you once reclined on the grass looking at the clouds.
ReplyDeleteNina
Great advice Nina. I'll remember this when I'm lingering over coffee without having to do anything.
DeleteI'd say it took me at least a few months to feel like I was more used to having the time to myself. And, I'm still not all the way there. Maybe I'll get the hang of it, just in time to go back to work. ;-) I'd give yourself some grace & try out a few things & see what works for you & what you like/dislike. What works for you now is probably not what will work for you in a few months, after you've had more time to decompress. So, I'd also be open to evolving your approach. - Hawaii Planner
ReplyDeleteI hope you've had more enjoym enjoyment than stress with your time off. I'll try to add a new thing or two but not get a case of the shoulds.
DeleteI agree with giving yourself time to decompress. I would also suggest not overloading your daily to do list with chores you aren’t motivated to do. Having a good balance with the activities you really want to do and being flexible is the space retirement gives you.
ReplyDeleteI've been a bit too complacent even with daily cleaning but hope to find a rhythm.
DeleteBe gentle with yourself, Sam. A too-long to-do list is overwhelming and discouraging, especially starting out. Maybe 2-3 items at MOST to start, and walking the dog is one of them, because it benefits you AND your dogs! As for your comments about folks over-scheduling their time after retiring, yeah, trust me, I see it all too often in our local community. And then when the person burns out from "too much," I bite my tongue...
ReplyDeleteYou can do this, my friend.
I'll start tomorrow's list smaller. It's the start of a holiday weekend anyway. I just don't want to waste this time.
DeleteIf you finish a short list you can always add another to do if you are wanting to do so!
DeleteI work 3/4 time still but I have scheduled everything while there is a brief lull at my work, so I had the large trees trimmed about three weeks ago ( or maybe two weeks, I forget) I had the plumber fix my shower, two sinks, and my leaking toilet, I planted rose bushes, electrician installed a new plug for window air/heater, today there are folks coming to measure for my new double pane windows and new back door bc the old one rotted out, and next week I am having major foundation repair, actually a whole new foundation as much as possible and reinforced! Whew! My wallet and my nerves are on fire! Bloom where you are planted and I guess I am planted back where I was living prior to fire but it sure needed major repairs! Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteWow- I had those weeks while working, so that's part of why I'm a bit down on myself. But so have gotten some things accomplished I guess.
DeleteLists are good and all THAT, but I agree - be gentle with yourself. It's ok to do a minimal amount and get used to a different pace of life. I sometimes feel guilty when I do nothing, but sometimes it is exactly what we need. :) You will get things done, don't worry. But for now, give yourself grace and take it day by day.
ReplyDeleteI've got the minimal part down.
DeleteWhen my husband retired, I swear all he did was sleep. He'd go outside to read on the patio and two minutes later he'd be asleep. It went on for months, if I remember correctly. I think it was his body's way of decompressing after leaving a very stressful situation. You should do what you want when you want.
ReplyDeleteMy friend that retired two years ago, the bucket list gift friend, had sleep in the tags because she couldn't believe how tired she was. I understand it now.
DeleteI’m still a work in retirement progress. If I have no morning commitments, I work out in our basement (your dog walk would be the equivalent) first thing. That gives me an anchor to my day. After that, I eat breakfast while Wordling and blog reading. Then I shower and pick off 1-2 things on my to do list. After 2 years of being mostly retired, I still struggle with “allowing” myself to read of watch tv during the day. If I watch tv, I limit myself to a half hour while I eat lunch or a half hour to an our while dinner is in the oven. This is not a frequent occurrence and usually involves viewing a series or movie in which DH has no interest (like White Lotus). I typically only read at night. If I have no firm plans to be out of the house, I usually spend time plotting out our next great adventure. I should declutter more, but I am often not motivated. I have a greeting card drawer in my desk that have been a mess for….FIVE years. I was proud of myself for organizing that recently. It is a work in progress. Give yourself grace..
ReplyDeleteThere's things I don't want to develop a habit for, Luke daytime TV watching. The walks to start my day have been terrific. You give me grace that the first week projects have mostly been left undone.
DeleteIt's a weird feeling being permanently 'off timetable' and no longer clock watching. For 20 years and more my life was in 30 or 45 minute segments with an eye on the clock to make sure I was covering the lesson material in the time; then suddenly 'phut' and it had gone.
ReplyDeleteIt takes time to explore this new way of life.
Thank you...I'm learning through the comments that my response and slow ease is rather normal. I saw my sister take on project after project. I thought I'd have more ambition for that kind of stuff.
DeleteI agree with the others, your body and mind need time to decompress from all those years of run, run, run! For some reason I found myself quite bad tempered when I first retired. If I dropped something you'd think it was the end of the world. Don't know what that was about - maybe previously having to work at speed and suddenly dropping something seemed like the end of the world. You'll ease into your own rythmn and in any case, you have spring to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I'll watch for mood changes. I think the spring in, spring off cycle has been off putting. Sleeping in has been good, as much as animals let me.
DeleteI think this sounds like a perfectly lovely time. A little walking, a little thinking, a little doggy time, and a whole lotta "being" time. I think I've said before, in the evening or first thing in the morning, I will write down what I want to accomplish/check-off. Those get done as early as feasible and then I can do "what I want, when I want, if I want". I don't believe in a retirement schedule. I don't want/need busy and full days. If I did, I'd work and get paid for being busy. I do not understand this "I am busier than I was when I worked". I don't find it to be a badge of honor nor can they make me feel bad because I enjoy each and every new sunrise I am gifted :-)
ReplyDeleteRelax, rest, decompress, adjust to this wonderful chunk of life called retirement. We are human beings, not human Doings!
I hear you on the "badge if honor". The first questions though are what are going to do with all your time? I suppose I feel like I should have proper answers.
DeleteJust cuz they want answers doesn't mean they deserve to even ask the question. It is their discomfort-not your responsibility. I got asked plenty and sometimes still do after 6y. Hence my proper answer continues to be 'what I want, when I want, if I want'. I just can't live my life by the expectations of others. I know you are in week 1. Tell 'em you're on a 6 week vacation right now :-)
DeleteLove that idea.
DeleteMaking a list if things I want to accomplish during the day really helps me keep on track. At the end of the day I feel good having accomplished most items on my list.
ReplyDeleteMine needs to be a short list to accomplish anything. Today it's to clean the kitchen table off. If I get that done, I'll call it a win.
DeleteI can't imagine trying to retire when times are so uncertain with the man-made issues we're having in the stock market. It's a hard enough process without that going on with no end in sight.
ReplyDeleteCute dog and I love the brick project you've got lined up.
Yeah, I sure feel unsettled and made a lot of plans on a very conservative retirement plan. Still even with being conservative I'm losing value daily. I sure don't see the Trump cheering bloggers cheering this.
DeleteI love how you're balancing outdoor time with tasks that bring you joy, like tending to your yard and spending time with the dogs. Taking it one step at a time seems like the right approach. I’m sure your garden will look amazing!
ReplyDeletewww.melodyjacob.com
It's good g to need a lot of TLC, but it'll get there.
DeleteThe glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature... Alfred Austin.
ReplyDeleteI painted this quote on my shed at the allotment, and on our rare sunny days it is very true. Doing little and often works wonders in a garden too, so don't feel you have to do loads at once, and it begin to feel like a chore rather than a pleasure. We have brick edging in both the back and front gardens and it works well. I still have a little tidying to do at the back... as much as my love for wild and woolly will allow!
The brick is mostly to tidy up the back patio area. I'd be happy with a more wild look but with wanting the garden beds, so need sun, and the dogs needing running room, I need the back clear.
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