Retired and Letting It Sink In

     

     You're all probably so happy to read the end has come to my writing about my approaching retirement. It is here. It's going to take a while to sink in that after taking my first preschool teaching job in 1986, my nearly 40 year career in early childhood care and education is over. Technically, the first job was as an assistant teacher, but I finished my credentials two years later when on maternity leave with my son and came back as the lead. ( Later went back to get advanced degree in Organizational Manage and Communication and Policy). I've had many variations of roles and responsibilities, but at the core was children birth to eight and their families. I've been a direct child care provider, a traditional preschool ( part day part week classrooms), extended day/ summer child care, parent educator, advocate, policy liaison, grant writer and grant maker, program director, EC nonprofit board member and officer, and finally, program administrator. It's been a ride.

     I've met some of my dearest friends in my career. We've bonded over weddings, and babies, and growing and exiting children. We've picked up the work pieces for each other during the illness and deaths of parents, and these people were my rock when I stopped work and gradually resumed after my husband died. Sure, there's been a few "career builders", in one door and out another as quickly as they could to climb their chosen career path. I was passed up for what I thought was the job destined for me, but in hindsight probably worked out for the best. The reality, none of us chose this line of work to get rich or amass power. We just wanted safe, nurturing, appropriate learning environments for children and the right for parents to be able to have choice and access.

So many gifts and a stack of cards. Check out the "bucket" flower pot, complete with a "bucket list."

     The happy hour goodbye was well attended and I was overjoyed to see so many from my work past. I've had cards and messages in the dozens.Thank you Mary from Frugally Challenged for the card- all the way from the UK!  I'm so touched. I'm not a very outwardly emotional person, so if my eyes watered, people knew I was overwhelmed. There were a few decorations and a sign, but I was so busy talking as soon as I got there, I didn't get any pictures. As we were winding up, a coworker snapped this at least. Yes, I was in just a sweater and jeans as it was a casual venue and event.

     On Monday I unplugged my office, boxed what I could figure out how to get put back. Loose items went in another box. My son got the sit-stand unit and my chair to my car. The office is a leftover disaster, but it's going to be purged completely to set up for my son so he has more private space. We'll get paint slapped on, and as I'm deferring the carpet replacement until the economy improves, a deep clean at least. 

The desk topper, sit-stand unit is gone. No monitor, no keyboard. I'm going to paint this desk a bright color and it will be moved up stairs to where I'm going to make more a small office/ sitting room. Color suggestions? There's a matching chair that's very uncomfortable, painted white, currently in my daughter's porch along with the rocking chair she upcycled three years ago. 

     It took a few extra hands to get my equipment checked due to so many pieces to carry in. There's a a shortage of office chairs, so there were longing looks at my expensive version. All will be returning to the office at least 50% time by June. I joined a few final meetings and had some last one to one knowledge transfers. It was a small fortune, but I ordered pizza for a final thank you lunch. I received a very generous gift to a garden center so I figured I'd cover pizza from the budget I set aside for the garden and yard. It just seemed like a small thing to do. 

     I didn't sleep well last night, so much for peaceful sleep after my last day. I fell asleep but the 2:00 a.m. mental alarm told me to wake up and let my brain do gymnastics. I had several panic breathing freak out moments. After getting the dog out and his breakfast hours later, I got another hour of sleep before having to get up. Why did I schedule an 8:30 appointment in St Paul? Today was busy with my hearing aid appointments, some life admin, and a bit more purging. Tomorrow feels like the first day it'll set in that I'm unemployed...intentionally. Doubt has crept in, but I'll figure it out.