Planning for Retirement: Edition 8 Pacing Myself

     

Photos from pexel.com.

     After a full day Friday at work, covering an extra mailbox as my data systems person took the day off (and also this past Monday and Tuesday), an evening out with my kids for my son's birthday, and a full day Saturday with my siblings at the play and then later book discussion, I was worn out on Sunday. But, having neglected even staying up on basic household tasks like laundry, bathrooms and floors, I spent Sunday getting caught up. Plus, I still had Oreo Truffles and Peanut Blossoms I wanted to make. Next weekend I'll make quick breads/ mini cakes for neighbors, but I don't have the freezer space to do in advance. I splurged on this adorable mini Bundt pan to make copy cat bundtinis like Nothing Bundts. (I'll share pictures late.) Actually, I  spent just $5 at Home Goods on clearance. 

     I've often heard from other retirees that their lives sometimes feel like all or nothing. They either are packed with activity to activity, then fall behind on life admin, and get wore out trying to catch up, but then can go days and even weeks with little on the calendar, sometimes feeling bored or lonely. I suppose the business of the Christmas season adds to this, but looking ahead, I don't have anything on the calendar next week. And...I'm glad. I don't have lots of mental bandwidth for socialization for hours on end and day after day. I reached out to my MIL to share I'd likely leave their Christmas mid afternoon, after lunch, cleanup, and some visiting, but not for the 8 hour + schedule that has felt like the expectation. The pets and myself will need care. 

     I've been thinking this week, I need to pace myself in my retirement. Some weeks will be out of my control, where events or gatherings and have to meet timelines will need to be met. If though, I can be the master of my calendar, I think I'll benefit from trying to stagger my extra events. That's one reason why I do not want to do any volunteering that requires a schedule, or join any card clubs, crafting, or religious circles. I want activities that I can pop into on weeks when I choose to have additional social time but not have anyone expecting me to be anywhere on a set schedule. Even having my one book club dates arranged through June is rigid to me, but I also know the alternative is a bit of chaos. 

     I admittedly get annoyed with my MIL and older sisters who often complain about their busy schedule. Hello, you're retired and can choose to not do many of the things you are now complaining about. But, I'm also starting to understand a bit that when the way the week hits, feels different week to week, and that they don't want to miss out on activities. I don't have grand children or children at ages that need me for anything. Other than pet care, I'll have no one to be responsible for but myself. 

     I also don't want to pack my calendar to the brim so that when a genuine new opportunity comes up in conflict, I feel an obligation to honor the first event. It might not even be something fun, but about being there for people. I had to miss attending the visitation for an old friends father last Monday because I was stuck in a work situation. She lives quite far away and while we're no longer close friends, I have fond memories of our school days and her dad, who was at every one of our basketball games from 7th grade on. ( My old friend was an elite athlete. I road the bench and eventually found a better basketball talent being the team statistician.) I sent my sympathies of course, but would have liked to see her. As more old friends lose parents, or like in my case, spouses, I know what it means to have people show up for you with kind words and share good memories. For my older siblings and MIL, half their commitments seem to be wakes and funerals, though some seem quite tangential in their relationship to the deceased or to the family. 

     That took an unintended turn to the post. My point being, I plan to pace myself with a mix of a social calendar, a class or lecture or two, meaningful short term volunteering, light paid work, travel as I can afford including day trips, and periods of intentional boredom. It's in those times of lull I hope to spend focused on my own pursuits and hobbies.